January 5, 2010
Okie. Where do I begin.
An old friend of mine is about to get hitched soon and the couple are currently in a flurry of activities to prep for the wedding.
For some unexplained reason, they also felt this is a good time to play matchmaker to their still single friends. Although this is an unofficial list, but it seems to me that my name is on it. Geez.
In my honest opinion, I cringe at the thought of me being fixed up with some guy. I don’t see how is it gonna be all natural and casual, especially when both sides knew people are hoping to see some sparks and probably an eventual trip down the aisle. Some friends are even taking bets on how it’d turn out. Like World Cup.
Over the past several weeks, I noticed that there were some attempts (some blatantly obvious) to fix me up with some guy within the couple’s circle of friends. Oh Gawd.
This is a short compilation of those sheesh moments.
This conversation took place between me and the bride (to be).
We were walking in the park and our casual banter arrived at the topic of relationships.
Bride : Hey, what do you think of *Dumpling? (name has obviously been changed to ensure confidentiality)
Me : Huh? What do you mean?
Bride : I mean, you know, have you ever considered him?
Me : WHAT? Er, no. We are just friends.
Bride : Ohhh but think about it, would you consider him?
Me : Honestly? Not really.
Nothing against Mr. Dumpling here but I’m just not interested in being in a relationship at this point in time.
Bride : Why not? He’s a nice guy! Imagine if you get together with him and then we can double date! *trilling away*
Me : *blinks* Well I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I mean, I am not looking to be in a relationship now. And besides, I thought *Biscuit (a female friend of ours) is interested in him?
Bride : Hmm yeah, wonder how are they doing now? But I am so surprised she likes him! What did she see in him anyway?
Me : …*wtf?*
What was that all about? I don’t know if the Bride realised but Mr. Dumpling and I just both got insulted somewhat. So was Ms. Biscuit.
I was out having a catch-up with the couple’s bestman, whom is also an ex-classmate of mine.
Bestman : Eh I have this buddy of mine, I think I should introduce him to you. He’s very good looking.
Me : …Well thanks but never mind.
Bestman : Hey come on, I’m serious. He was the most good looking dude in our school last time – myself being 2nd of course.
Me : How big was your school? *grins*
Bestman : Mmm…bout 1000 plus students.
Me : I see. I’m not interested, seriously. I’m too lazy to be in a relationship. Lemme just eat and sleep happily for now.
Bestman : Nooo you have to meet him! One day I’ll bring him along ok? Ok?
Me : No, sheeesh! If he’s super good looking then why does he need you to introduce anyway??
Bestman : Well he’s really shy with girls. I think he needs my help. I’m really good with hooking people up. He’s a responsible guy and I can see he’s a family man. Good catch you know!
Me : NO thank you no thank you *shakes head vigorously* If he’s good looking I’m sure he won’t have a problem finding other girls. He’ll be fine. Why don’t you worry about yourself first hah!
Bestman : Hoi, don’t talk about me here. It’s about you and him. Ok, actually…at first glance you might not find him very good looking. But after some observation, the more you look at him the better looking he gets. It slowly captures you.
Me : *in mock seriousness* Oh my goodness, so you’re saying I’ve to..like what, take a chair to sit and wait for a POOF and out comes Takeshi Kaneshiro? I can’t possibly just sit around and wait the entire day you know!
Bestman : *laughs* Hoi, you ah…he really is that – ah forget it. Haih.
For a moment there I thought Mr. Bestman was channeling some used car salesman.
At another catch-up with the bestman. He was asking me about male pattern baldness.
Bestman : Hey…is there any cure for male baldness?
Me : Wow. Hmm there are a few treatments for it but it really depends on the cause. If it’s genetic then nothing much you can do about it. Are you…uh, asking for yourself?
Bestman : *catches me studying his hairline* No not me, it’s this close friend of mine. He’s been worried about his hair lately.
Me : Oh? How old is he?
Bestman : Around 28.
Me : That’s young. Is he having hair loss now?
Bestman : Yah it’s starting already. I think it runs in his family. He told me all his male relatives are somewhat bald by the time they turn 30 or 30 plus.
Me : Wow, that’s very early! No wonder your friend is so worried about it.
Bestman : Yah, what a shame man. He was the most good looking guy in our school last time (doesn’t this ring a bell?). He had so many admirers, geez.
Me : *raises eyebrow* Waaaaaaaiiiiiiiiit….Is this the same guy you were trying to fix me up with?
Bestman : *taps the table* YA that’s the one! Ooohh you remembered!
Me : Um, yah when you mentioned number 1 handsome dude in your school I thought I..
Bestman : *interjects* MAN! You really should meet him! I think he suits you! Give it a try, come on. You’re both single, who knows?
Me : ….Never mind.
Very kind of Mr. Bestman in offering to introduce his friend to me, except that I am too lazy to bother – although I must say for his friend’s sake I hope he would skip the part about the follicular depreceation the next time he tries to hook the guy up. I’m sure the friend would agree with me.
I don’t quite like the idea of matchmaking (especially when it’s done in an obvious manner) cause it gets awkward when both know they are expected to ‘get along’. And half the time you’d be wondering what have your friends told him about you and vice versa (I bet the other guy had no bloody clue now that random girls are aware of his, um, hair issue – thanks to his buddy informant).
The other thing about being fixed up is your friends are usually very keen to know how it went. They’d pester for details and feedback. Sometimes information gets passed too freely and it ends up on the other side, which is normally not a bad thing unless something unpleasant has been said. For example:-
Friend : So tell me! How did the meeting go? How did you find him?
Girl : Well, he was alright I guess. Seems bit shy, we didnt talk that much. How’s he? Did he…say anything..?
Friend : Oh he said it was ok too, but he did mention you reminded him of Chuck Norris.