MURPHY’S LAW of being an intern:-

After 5pm is when the patient finally decides to let you know that they’ve been having chest pains all along.

When you think you’ve got everything on your trolley, you’re wrong. There is always something left behind.

Some nurses are really efficient. They page you for every single minute change in the obs. Example: “Patient’s blood pressure dropped from 145 systolic to 140. You happy with that?” – Ya very.

Just when you need to pee very badly, a MET call happens.

10 minutes before you finish for the day, a patient churns out a highly worrisome ECG.

The day you are late for work is the day all your consultants decide to have a morning round.

There is no better timing to have an itch on your back when you’re in sterile gloves inserting a urinary catheter.

A precious blood sample which was HIGHLY difficult to obtain gets discarded because you’ve forgot to stick a bradma on the tube – you were too busy rejoicing on your success after 8-10 tries.

You can tell a highly abnormal X-ray from what’s normal. It’s the ones in between that gives you the shits.

You’re about to prescribe a common drug for the patient with multiple allergies. You couldn’t remember what they were and neither could he.

Just when you couldn’t be more harassed, the family shows up ‘demanding to know what is going on’

You have no problem at all getting up-close examining the MRSA patient’s throat. Then he coughs on you.

There are about 10-15 things you still have to do. Suddenly your consultant pages you to head straight to theatre with urgency. You drop everything and rushed to get scrubbed up – to discover that the only instructions are “Here, hold this”, which you spent the next hour doing exactly just that.

Once out of the OT, you rush back to the wards to resume your work…only to realise you left your handover sheet somewhere in the changing room.

You walked all the way from one end to the other end of the hospital to see your single outlying patient. Upon arriving there, you were just informed that he got transferred to the ward that you’ve just walked from.

The file that you’re looking for is never there.

Patients whom are otherwise well would tell you every single little thing that is wrong with them. The truly sick ones would let you discover them for yourself.

It only takes a sunset for a sweet, frail, elderly patient to transform into The Terminator.

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