If Medicine is like Warcraft

August 31, 2008

Ever thought of the similarities?

Following post contains gratitious warcraft speak.

The Raid (Ward Rounds) – All preparation goes to ensuring this is pulled off satisfactorily. All team members would meet at a pre-designated spot. The senior doctor (raid leader) would ensure a game plan is set up prior to commencing. The interns (noobs) would be the ones organising the patients’ files holding information regarding the patient’s health and mana points (HP and MP). Some interns would need a cuppa (elixir of patient resistance) before starting the deal.

The Mob – The patients. Every one of them is different, yet similar (as in they all give you problems). More often than not, the success of a patient review depends on the approach (the first pull). If the entire team is efficient and balanced, usually the raid goes well. Always approach one patient at a time and do not leave till you’ve concluded the review in the event of aggro-ing more mobs than you can handle.

The Guild/PartyThe treating team. It’s all about balance. Without the senior doctor (main healer/raid leader) in sight, things could awry very easily. If this is the case, then the noobs would have to step in to continue the raid. Full concentration is essential, no one appreciates a member being AFK. Usually with one or two men down, the party would be more prone to the liberal use of potions (handbooks/cheat notes).

The Non-Playable Character (NPC) Other co-habitants of the realm. Typical of NPCs, they could make your job either much easier by giving you useful items (e.g. pharmacists) or by handing more work to you (quest-giving NPCs, e.g. demanding nurses). Due to the nature of the NPCs, they could frustrate you further due to the unable to attack target warning.

The Warrior The surgeons. Full of rage, they are often a melee class where close combat is essential (surgery). Everything is hands on. Physical distance from the mob is a no-no. Proximity is essential to engage in combat. Warrior raids end as swiftly as they start due to the constant charge option.

The RogueThe drug reps. Full of energy, they sneak up to you without you realising. Once they have engaged you, their incessant talking would make it difficult for one to escape (stun lock). It would be easier if you are aware of their presence (either mark or faerie fire) to make a quick getaway before they ambush you.

Health points (HP) – Physical endurance. Deteriorates over time when in a raid. Able to be replenished by some access to food or rest.

Mana points (MP) Corresponds directly to intelligence points. Usually the higher the level (e.g. senior doctor), the greater the mana pool as they tend to have more intelligence points. However, there are some really complicated patients (elite mobs) whom possess the ability to drain your mental capacity over a really short amount of time – sometimes instantaneously. This phenomenon is also known as mana burn.

HP+Mana Fountain – The Cafeteria. Self-explanatory.

KitingReferral. This is usually done when one is clueless/stumped/lazy when dealing with the patient (mob). The patient is being directed away from you and to elsewhere. Failure to kite properly would result in the aggro being returned to you.

Combat Log – Patient’s case/progress notes. Detailed interaction between you and the patient. Documentation of every medication and spell used.

Damage over Time (DoT) – Your pager. Every beep deals subsequent damage to one’s HP.

Lagger – Usually a noob, when he/she is a bit behind the rest of the group. Often seen going round in circles.

Windwalk – What you do when you see the clingy, demanding, unreasonable patient.

Out of Mana (OOM) – Mental shutdown. Often would need the person to sit, drink, and do nothing for a while to regenerate.

Illidan Stormrage – A delirious patient who’s a former champion kickboxer in his heyday. Unstoppable.

*     *     *

Don’t you think so? 😀


4 Responses to “If Medicine is like Warcraft”

  1. ki jin said

    So warlocks which category ah?

  2. I did thought about warlocks, but need someone to fit into the “summoning” category and death coil. Doesn’t appear to be too straight-forward.

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