Ever thought of the similarities?

Following post contains gratitious warcraft speak.

The Raid (Ward Rounds) – All preparation goes to ensuring this is pulled off satisfactorily. All team members would meet at a pre-designated spot. The senior doctor (raid leader) would ensure a game plan is set up prior to commencing. The interns (noobs) would be the ones organising the patients’ files holding information regarding the patient’s health and mana points (HP and MP). Some interns would need a cuppa (elixir of patient resistance) before starting the deal.

The Mob – The patients. Every one of them is different, yet similar (as in they all give you problems). More often than not, the success of a patient review depends on the approach (the first pull). If the entire team is efficient and balanced, usually the raid goes well. Always approach one patient at a time and do not leave till you’ve concluded the review in the event of aggro-ing more mobs than you can handle.

The Guild/PartyThe treating team. It’s all about balance. Without the senior doctor (main healer/raid leader) in sight, things could awry very easily. If this is the case, then the noobs would have to step in to continue the raid. Full concentration is essential, no one appreciates a member being AFK. Usually with one or two men down, the party would be more prone to the liberal use of potions (handbooks/cheat notes).

The Non-Playable Character (NPC) Other co-habitants of the realm. Typical of NPCs, they could make your job either much easier by giving you useful items (e.g. pharmacists) or by handing more work to you (quest-giving NPCs, e.g. demanding nurses). Due to the nature of the NPCs, they could frustrate you further due to the unable to attack target warning.

The Warrior The surgeons. Full of rage, they are often a melee class where close combat is essential (surgery). Everything is hands on. Physical distance from the mob is a no-no. Proximity is essential to engage in combat. Warrior raids end as swiftly as they start due to the constant charge option.

The RogueThe drug reps. Full of energy, they sneak up to you without you realising. Once they have engaged you, their incessant talking would make it difficult for one to escape (stun lock). It would be easier if you are aware of their presence (either mark or faerie fire) to make a quick getaway before they ambush you.

Health points (HP) – Physical endurance. Deteriorates over time when in a raid. Able to be replenished by some access to food or rest.

Mana points (MP) Corresponds directly to intelligence points. Usually the higher the level (e.g. senior doctor), the greater the mana pool as they tend to have more intelligence points. However, there are some really complicated patients (elite mobs) whom possess the ability to drain your mental capacity over a really short amount of time – sometimes instantaneously. This phenomenon is also known as mana burn.

HP+Mana Fountain – The Cafeteria. Self-explanatory.

KitingReferral. This is usually done when one is clueless/stumped/lazy when dealing with the patient (mob). The patient is being directed away from you and to elsewhere. Failure to kite properly would result in the aggro being returned to you.

Combat Log – Patient’s case/progress notes. Detailed interaction between you and the patient. Documentation of every medication and spell used.

Damage over Time (DoT) – Your pager. Every beep deals subsequent damage to one’s HP.

Lagger – Usually a noob, when he/she is a bit behind the rest of the group. Often seen going round in circles.

Windwalk – What you do when you see the clingy, demanding, unreasonable patient.

Out of Mana (OOM) – Mental shutdown. Often would need the person to sit, drink, and do nothing for a while to regenerate.

Illidan Stormrage – A delirious patient who’s a former champion kickboxer in his heyday. Unstoppable.

*     *     *

Don’t you think so? 😀

Advertisements

Of cows and Kage Bunshin

August 11, 2008

Am back for the weekend. I’ve finally caught up with Naruto Shippuden.

I’ve been away on my rural rotation over the past few weeks. It’s not too far of a place, but far enough for me to decide it’s too much of a hassle to keep driving back and forth.

To be honest, so far it has been really good.

The hospital provides accomodation for visiting staff, and I’m fortunate to be allocated a fairly decent cottage (something like a well-furnished cabin). There’s bedding and towels; kitchen’s all stocked with crockery and cutlery. There’s a few rooms in one cottage and am currently sharing with 1-2 other doctors (one’s a fellow intern as well).

I got rostered on day shift for the very first week so I was the first to arrive. Initially I planned to move my stuffs in the day before, except that I ended up packing the entire night prior due to some fantastic form of procrastination. Kept telling myself “Another 10 minutes of YouTube wouldn’t hurt” except that in reality the 10 minutes eventually became something close to a few hours. Lazy bum, I know.

It’s a pretty pleasant drive once you get out of the metropolitan area. Soon I’m seeing huge fields of green and yellow pastures dotted with dairy cows (yup the black and white ones). There’s just so many of them and they all look alike (How can we be sure they are not capable of performing Kage Bunshin? Maybe they have us fooled for ages).

There’s much lush greenery to be appreciated, given that the weather is relatively warm and dry. You still get the odd driver pulling over by the roadside to take a leak.

I think the hospital has about 15 doctors at any one time.

It’s a pretty small place, where everyone knows everyone. There’s about 4 doctors in the ED while the rest are mainly scattered upstairs. People have been really warm and welcoming, which is really fantastic 😀

Things are pretty laid-back here, although not the same can be said for what comes through the ED doors.

Things are bit different in the rural setting, you tend to see a lot more trauma cases (mainly arising from work/farmyard injuries). I remember spending roughly half of my time just suturing partially severed fingers and whatnot. The most recent case that I did suturing on was a guy who had his fingers caught in an automated chainlink. The motion hauled him across for a few feet before the bit of flesh gave way and freed him off it.

The hospital’s near a skiing resort, so we do get a fair bit of skiing injuries. Majority of them came in after taking a tumble through the snow. One fellow, however, stood out amongst the usual.

This is a fairly young kiddo. When I first had a look at him, I thought, “What an unusual position to be sitting in”. He was sitting upright on the bed, with both of his arms splayed out and palms upwards. I would’ve likened his posturing to one of those common meditative stances except that he looks too miserable to be in a zen-like state.

This is the story. He was drunk in expired grape juice (alcohol!) and had this brilliant idea of seeing if he could dive over a toboggan. So he took a few steps back (after putting down his beer bottle I presume) and started to run for the jump.

Jumped, he did. Dived over, he did not. Dive INTO, more like.

He somehow landed right on top of the hard toboggan with both of his arms out in front of him in an almost 90 degrees angle. Both arms absorbed almost all the impact and it started hurting like hell (in his words). He couldn’t move, as he couldn’t feel his arms.

Thankfully for him, he was found by the ski patrol. I took a look at the patrol report and someone wrote “Found in a push-up position”. It took a huge amount of morphine and a smack of sedatives to reduce both arms to a neutral position.

We did an Xray of both shoulders and well, both of them had popped outta their sockets. They were quite badly dislocated and may require reduction under a general anaesthetic.

Honestly, I haven’t done a shoulder reduction before so I needed some advice. The senior doctor on duty thought it’d be worth trying to manipulate both manually under sedation before leaving it for general anaesthetic. Okies.

Before you know it, the poor dude was surrounded by 4 doctors all ready to pop his shoulders back in. Thankfully we sedated him (cause it’d be bloody painful) and managed to somehow reduced both successfully (although at one stage the patient did screamed out while being semi-conscious). I had the grand job of holding his jaw up (as he was going into deep sedation with all those stuffs we’re giving him to knock him out) as the senior doctor wrangled his arm back in place.

The poor fellow must have felt really embarrassed. When we were discharging him, he received a round of advice from concerned/amused staff.

Patient : Bye guys….thanks.

Me : Don’t dive anymore okie?

Nurse : And don’t get drunk!

Another nurse : And not at night, please!

Ward clerk : Yeah no jumping!

Patient : *red faced* Um, I know. Bye and thanks.

Not everything would usually end that light-heartedly.

One cold winter morning, a nurse walked into ED and announced “I need a doctor to step out with me”.

I just started my shift not long ago, and have yet to be attached to any patient. I thought okie no problem. Apparently they wanted a doctor to see this patient outside.

She led the way, and we ended up in the car park. Along the way there, I was informed that I’ll be certifying a DOA (Dead on arrival).

I must say I’ve never examined a patient at the back of a van before, let alone a deceased one.

The undertaker pulled open the boot of the van and there he was, all wrapped up and on a stretcher. I looked at the undertaker questioningly, and went “Do I examine him right here?”.

“Yeah do your thing”, he hollered. His voice almost inaudible against the howling wind.

Okie. We unwrapped the plastic sheets. The man looked, well, dead. His face was dusky blue and motionless. This man had a collapse in the outdoors and they were unable to revive him. Sounded like he had a massive heart attack.

It was over in 10 minutes. Silent chest and unresponsive pupils. I made sure I listened to his chest for at least a good minute or so to minimise my chances of missing some signs of life. I could hear the undertaker in the background talking to the nurse about how one guy woke up and found himself in the morgue. Apparently he was just unconscious but was declared dead by…um, mistake. Yikes.

Certified him dead. Undertaker re-wrapped the body and we headed back in.

I did wonder, what if that guy’s family decided he is to be cremated (wrongly believing that he’s permanantly gone)…and if he hadn’t woken up in time? That’s gotta be one effing big screw-up, man.

Anyway, gotta get back to my packing.

Weekend’s the only time I’m able to do my laundry. Gotta do the washing, drying, and the ironing before tossing them all back into my bag for the coming week (at rural). I was spending way too much time this weekend watching anime (I think i sat through 15-20 episodes of Naruto Shippuden) and am gonna have to resort to some last-minute packing.

Hmmm…seems like the entire Konoha village is entrapped and they’re about to fight. I’ll uh…do my packing tomorrow I guess *smiles sheepishly*.

If only I knew Kage Bunshin.